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Goin' to the Chapel (via the cleaners)

Monday, January 02, 2006

by TaffyPuller

There's a Sex and the City episode in which Carrie goes to an upscale child's birthday party thrown by one of her upscale gal pals (played by award winning coke whore Tatum O'Neal). Through some Komedy Klassik hijinks, Carrie ends up being separated from her beloved Manolos at this party, and Tatum refuses to reimburse her for the crushing loss, despite the fact that it is technically her fault that Carrie lost the shoes and that Carrie has spent thousands of dollars over the years celebrating Tatum's marriage and each of her childrens' birthdays. This inevitably leads to Carrie wandering her apartment in some crazy ass bag lady outfit, wondering via voiceover why single people get the short end of the stick when it comes to celebrating the major life moments of their married friends.

I'm feeling a little like Carrie right now. And it isn't even because of my straight friends. Now that the damn Gays are having weddings (for reals in Massachusetts, even), I am suddenly expected to spend a fortune on celebrating their sickening love and deluded committment. Am I bitter? Yes, yes I am. Nobody's purchasing ME gifts from a registry. Nobody's throwing ME a bachelor party with a tranny stripper and novelty dildos. And the topper is, I actually had an enGAYged friend pull the old "Sooooo, who are you bringing as your date to our wedding?" on me. Listen up people: one of the pleasures of being a gay dude is that you don't have to worry about scaring up a date for weddings just so you don't look all Bridget Jones pathetic in front of your friends who have managed to close the deal already. I'm not a fat straight girl, don't treat me like one. As a gaysexual, I reserve my right to come to your wedding alone, abuse the open bar, and fuck EVERY guy at the reception. You have been warned.


Blogger Nic said...

I never thought about this... Eeewww... The "M" word gives me the willies!

2:18 AM  
Blogger Liberalgrrrl said...

Hey as a straight girl, I reserve the right to do the same thing and Mr. Puller you are fully aware that I have!!!

8:04 PM  
Blogger Liberalgrrrl said...

sorry Ms. its Mrs. Right or is it Miss?

It was a typo and general gender confusion from living in San Francisco.

12:47 AM  

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