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Blanche, the New Rose

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

by Blow Hard

Ladies, grab your wire hangers and get ready to give yourselves those back alley abortions you’ve always wanted. Gays, take those dicks out of those butts and cut them off while you’re at it. Old people and Terri Schiavo, please stay in your rewarding comas because it makes the Bush family and God so happy.

Now that Justice Sandra Day O’Connor, the poor man’s Betty White, is about to step down after an 18 million year retirement process, this court is about to suck even harder than it already does. Everyone assumed the new court would be so hot with the elevation of John Roberts. That John Roberts! He’s so handsome, so smart, so reasonable, everyone cooed. But his first dissent reveals a John Roberts who is nothing more than a big government ultraconservative radical judicial activist who wants to fuck old, sick people up their frail, scabby asses. In a 6-3 decision, the court upheld Oregon’s assisted suicide law, with Roberts, Scalia and Thomas dissenting.

With Sandra DO’C about to be replaced by Sam “Whites Only” Alito, who will save this court? My vote, not that I should have a right to one, is for Anthony Kennedy. It was this mild-mannered Reagan appointee who recently sided with the far left on retard death penalty cases and signed on to the homosexual agenda in Lawrence v. Texas, the 2003 pro-butt fucking case. Kennedy is poised to be the new O’Connor, only more Rue McClanahanish.


Blogger TaffyPuller said...

Isn't funny how nostalgic we are getting for the even handed and oh so progressive Regan years? I guess next to Hitler, Franco didn't looks so bad either. I miss the 80's. Especially the shoulder pads. And Joan Collins. I love Joan Collins.

10:18 AM  
Blogger Joshua said...

I agree with Taffypuller. Remember how Nancy Reagan used to be a crazy bitch who abused the help and consulted psychics and controlled her husband through her pet demon, Raznagog? Now she's a friggin' saint with a halo and lovely wings and great legs.

Maybe she hid it all under her shoulder pads.

3:40 AM  

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