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Republican Killer Korner: Ted Bundy

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

by Blow Hard

What do OJ Simpson, Shannen Doherty, Timothy McVeigh, Shirley Temple and the BTK killer have in common? They are all despicable, evil people. They are also all Republicans. (Sorry, Taffypuller)

For some reason a great number of America’s most infamous sex criminals, serial killers and child actors share an affiliation with the Grand Old Party. Furthermore, First Lady Laura Bush KILLED someone.

Today Pushy Bottom proudly unveils a new feature to capitalize on conservative criminal crackups--the Republican Killer Korner. The inaugural entry belongs to an unparalleled legend, Ted Bundy.

Ted Bundy is one man who so clearly personifies the horror of these twin blights on our society—serial killing and the Republican Party. Almost seamlessly, Bundy fused the themes of moral values and sexual violence to become one of the most horrific Republicans of the mid-1970s. In order to unmask the mysteries of the Republican mind, let us investigate the political history of Ted Bundy, a man who used serial killing as a mask of sanity to hide his deep, dark Republican secret.

When he wasn't having sex with a bunch of tax cuts, Bundy spent much of his college days campaigning for Republican candidates while somehow managing to volunteer at a rape crisis center. His multiple careers of rape counselor, rapist and Republican were on the up and up. By 1968, Bundy was appointed assistant state chairman of a political organization supporting the presidential candidacy of Republican Nelson Rockefeller. Ted Bundy also served as special assistant to the Washington state GOP Chairman.

Although it is unclear when exactly Ted’s psychopathic tendencies took hold of his life, it quite probably coincided with his involvement in the Republican Party. In 1972, Ted Bundy worked on Republican Governor Don Evans’s re-election campaign; fourteen months later, he forcefully sodomized and killed several college co-eds. In 1973, Ted Bundy was issued an official Republican Party credit card; the next year, eleven more women were brutally slaughtered.

In 1980, death penalty advocate Ted Bundy was sentenced to death.

Just like sweet Harriet Miers, the night before his 1989 execution, Bundy met with kingmaker Dr. James Dobson to burnish his conservative credentials. When asked by Dobson to explain the influences that led to his illustrious, career as a serial killer, Bundy was quick to parrot Republican culture war talking points. According to Mr. Bundy, pornography, alcohol, the violent (aka “liberal”) media and “detective magazines” produced this necrophiliac ladykilling monster.

You know what they say—you can take a serial killer out of the Republican Party, but you can’t take the Republican Party out of the serial killer.

Ted Bundy was a Republican.


Blogger Joshua said...

The true scandal of Laura Welch's fatal accident is that her passenger was named Judy DYKES.

3:44 AM  
Blogger New Vermont Cows said...

I guess that it's a good thing that Bundy wasn't elected President. The nut would have done something crazy like invading a country, killing thousands of innocent people, and torturing people. I'm glad we don't have a guy like that running the country.

11:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Another Republican serial killer was Herb Baumeister who was a secretly gay, millionaire entrepeneur who started a chain of thrift stores. He started out burying the bodies in the woods behind his mansion and then he started to get lazy and just toss the bodies back just on the ground barely even outside of his yard. This was a man who had a wife and children living in the mansion with him (true Republican family values?). One time his son even found a human skull and showed it to his mother and she chose not to even contact the police. This is another great example of the morallity that Republicans stand for.

3:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And John Wayne Gacy was a Democrat. What's your point, other than to prove that you're a political bigot and a complete moron?

12:54 AM  
Blogger Noah said...

Yeah so what there have been serial killers in every party.

12:02 AM  
Anonymous Joshua Skye said...

To Anonymous right-wing coward... John Wayne Gacy was a lifelong conservative Catholic as proven by statements made by people that knew him. He was not a "liberal democrat" by any stretch of the imagination and for all intents and purposes was a "democrat" in name only. Do your research before calling other people names.

12:03 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey what about those kids or crazy people that like to shoot up the schools, I wonder what party they are or the kids parents?

Or like that crazy college-professor that recently shot her co-workers..
Or the guy in Texas that shot his boss at the plant... albeit not all killers are republicans just the majority.. Why? because we live in a society that gives a gun license to every “so- called” patriot without a criminal background, but also without a basic psychological exam. Why? Money!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ha!!! Nothing to do with rights at all!!!

Remember before President Obama was elected how Rushpill was claiming riots and the NRC was urging everyone to buy guns, they use fear to push an agenda. It's the only way to get people to listen. If you yell fire in a movie theater it creates panic. It's the very same philosophy...
Now I wonder how many of those people who bought guns can pay their mortgage???? Just asking?
Brainwashing is soo easy....
Lastly; thank you President Bush for screwing us for eight years without lube protection. btw, This is called the "amnesia affect" They forget how the hell we got here and the fact Mr. Bush pushed the AIG bill, and started the bailouts, but let's blame the poor bastard who's trying to make a change, and let's not support him; let him fail. sure, I like being in a recession. In fact, take my house please!!!!
One more thing, the Republican plan for health care overhaul is called "screw the poor" They have no plan, never did, never have, never will. I'm done because I'm pissed off now!!!


10:28 AM  
Anonymous Dmitry Vukicevich said...

To Joshua Skye Left wing libtard. John Wayne Gacy was a Democratic Party Precinct Captain but you are too stupid to be able to read his history. Congratulattions on making yourself look dumb as a post.

9:42 PM  

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